Resting in Peace.... While you're still alive

My mom decided to end her life on December 12, 2020.
5 days later she had a medically assisted death, and during the whole time of her cancer battle, she called herself a Covid Miracle... She was.
That Saturday I will never forget...
She had moved into my home during the last stages of her life so that we could care for her.
During that time we were also slammed with 3 kids being home full-time, home-schooling, caring for my mom, cooking, cleaning, appointments, running 2 businesses from home... and my Wake up and Live book deadline.
I felt like I was getting slammed in every direction possible, but I also knew God would never give me more than I could personally handle.
She had kept asking me..... "How long before your books edits are done"...
Earlier that week I told her that I was hoping to be finished by Saturday.
Saturday came, and she called me into the room..... and that's when I knew....
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Bleeding Love

grief Feb 02, 2021
One of my most favourite pictures of my mom during her cancer journey.
Despite being pricked, poked, tested to the max with far too many trips to the hospital to count, she called her self a Covid Miracle, and was still bleeding LOVE/
Before she died she told me that if ever I needed to have a good heart to heart with her, she’d be sitting on my left shoulder.
So every morning, I rise. I give thanks for life. I put my hand on my heart, and say...
Hi Mom. I love you. Without fail, I can hear her whispers in my ear knowing that while I can’t see her, she’s always with me.
Your loved ones are always with you too.  May you experience the miracle of stillness, when you get quiet and know they are always with you.
Believe it.
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Heaven is Roaring - Rest in Peace Mom

My mom would sometimes say “I’ll catch you on the flip side”, except this time when I said my final goodbye, she simply said the words....
“I Am Ready”.
She closed her eyes, and at 11:04am on Thursday, December 17th she passed away and went to be with Jesus.
As someone who spends her days writing and speaking, there are days where I am at a loss for words. There are no words to write or to speak, but that is actually where the magic happens.
If you are still, present and listen quietly between breaths, you will know and hear your truth and the voice of God.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where a spiritual surrender must happen. Where we tap out. Where we surrender to God’s plan for our life, and not our own.
This year, a virus took the world by storm and we experienced a new normal. It was during this time in history, where my Mother received her lung cancer diagnosis, and started...
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Did you really LIVE your life?

Change is scary. But you wanna know what is scarier? Regret.

I’ve got a new motto. I’m gonna show up to my life EVERY DAY as if it were my last day to LIVE. When I remind myself of that. I don’t settle. I leap. I trust. I have courage.

I remember the day I picked out my sons fathers tomb stone. We were divorced. Still one of my best friends. He chose me as the executor of his estate, and I remember putting the $1400 expense on my credit card and paid for a tomb stone. I remember thinking how stupid were we.

Wasting precious time worry about dumb shit that might not even happen. Wasting our time on drama, and petty shit that won’t matter in a week. Staying for the sake of benefits and a pension only to have no promises. Fighting over silly things like money.

I didn’t learn my lesson the first time. So what happens when you don’t learn your lesson?

It comes back to bite you HARDER the second time around.

I held my baby girl in my arms thinking...

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"You get in life what you have the courage to ask for" ~ Oprah Winfrey