The Lamb of God - My Why

addiction anxiety and depression entrepenuership grief healing leadership overcoming anxiety Jun 19, 2022

It's so easy for people to connect on their traumas and dramas.


It's so easy to find support for those choosing to be a victim.  


Just go on social media for 5 seconds, and you'll see how exhausting it is.

You'll see how many people like and comment on rants, negativity, or someone complaining about how much their life sucks, or how expensive things are.


You'll hardly ever see support, love and encouragement for someone who's actually DOING something MORE with their life.  


That's because most people are full of hate, fear and jealousy and haven't done the work on themselves to heal what's broken.


Finding a community full of healed and victorious champions is a little more challenging.


That's why I'm so glad you're here.


It's so easy for people to share what happened to them not from a space of wholeness and empowerment, but from a space of brokenness and emptiness.


We share our stories of our past, we connect on things that keep us stuck in that moment of time, we post about it on Facebook, our bodies become triggered, and emotionally charged every time we put ourselves back there, and then we never break free from that vicious cycle of heartache, pain and suffering.


But there comes a moment in time where we must let go, move forward, find new meaning, and a new purpose for our life.


There comes a moment in time where we are liberated from our fear, grief, pain, suffering, and we are set free.


That is my wish for everyone.  That this world is full of people who have returned back to a wholesome space of love, and wholeness.


So today I wanted to share a story about my Mom and her request to eat lamb the night before her medically assisted death.  


I found this request for her last supper very odd.  Like WTF kind of odd.


I never once heard her speak of eating lamb, or ever cooking lamb in my entire life.


Naturally as a spirit junkie I had to dig deeper after she passed away, because something within me said there must be a "hidden meaning" in this.


I immediately began looking for all the scriptures about lamb in the bible. 


Jesus was the lamb of God.


I truly believe my mom was God’s sacrifice too.  I'll explain.


Her life was full of pain, suffering, abuse, addiction, rejection, heartache, loss, challenges, shut doors, financial difficulties, and set backs.


She was even rejected by her own family.


Her own mother abused her and took her money, and her biological father denied she was even his.


Even her own daughter (me) rejected her for how she looked, how she dressed, and the choices she made at times.


She was different.


She was one of a kind.


She was soft spoken, a leader, calm, strong, and relentless.


She would tell you exactly where to go and how to get there if you pissed her off, and she'd be the first person to rip someone a new asshole if they needed one.  


She didn't care what other people thought of her.


She never complained. 


She was a very spiritual person who loved to garden, and loved talking to the birds, trees, and butterflies. 


She was a smart business woman and one of the hardest workers I've ever seen in my life.

She was thrifty, creative, didn't care about labels or how much things cost.


She was strong willed, stubborn at times and always fought for herself and what she wanted.  


She never backed down.


She was always helping someone, and would do anything for her children (Except give them a free handout in life).

She always did the right thing and would give someone the shirt off her back.  (Which she did one day in a factory full of men).


She was the kind of person you’d go to in trouble if ever you needed advice.   


She always had the right words to say, and she always knew what to do.


She never judged.


She never yelled.  


She never condemned. 


She never told you what to do.


She never said "I told you so".


She simply sat back and let you make your own decisions, and was always there to pick you up, and dust you off if you failed or were facing a life crisis.


My mother was one of my greatest teachers, and I believe her path was already laid out for her.


I believe through her pain and suffering I was able to see things differently, do better, and raise the standard.


I believe after her death it was an opportunity for rebirth, and I know for myself I was reborn into a better version of myself.


A more loving, kinder, softer, compassionate, caring, patient, balanced, calm, empathetic, confident and passionate person full of purpose, second chances, love, courage, wisdom, new beginnings, faith, belief, and life.


Her holy spirit lives inside of me, and it’s always there comforting me, guiding me, supporting me, cheering me on and leading me to my next right move in life.


I trust this, I believe this, I know this to be true.  I speak to her and listen to her whispers daily.


Someone always has to die in order to give someone life.


Someone always has to suffer so that we can be set free and be liberated from our pain and suffering. 


Looking back I can see that the most amazing woman lived through hell, so that I could find heaven on earth and then go on to help others do the same.


What an honour, blessing and a gift that is.


That I get to wake up every day and truly LIVE my life happy, healthy, and free.


What an honour that is to be alive, and trailing her breath and wisdom that is locked up inside of my heart and soul.


What an honour that is to share it with the world.


What an honour that is to be here because my mother was told she could never have children, and yet here I AM, a walking, talking, living, and breathing miracle.



She is, and always will be the reason I get up every morning and keep moving forward to make this world a better place to live, and to spread the word of LOVE.  She suffered and sacrificed way too much in her own life for me to play small and settle for less than.  


With 100% certainty in my heart and soul and faith way bigger than the size of a mustard seed... I know for a fact that ALL things are possible.


One of my moms favourite songs was by Johnny Reid.  It’s called, Today I’m Gonna Try and Change the World.


And that’s EXACTLY what I’m gonna do today, and I’m gonna take it one day at a time.


I’ve made my resolution.  I’ve opened up my eyes.


Today I'm gonna try and change the world.


How about you?






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