41 Years Old And Blessed To Be AliveOct 16, 2022
It was like I was having an out of body experience.
I sat there hovering above myself as I wrote on the calendar "My 41st Birthday"...
I sort of chuckled to myself wondering if anyone else out there still writes their own birthday on the calendar. I do.
Because I came from a mother who was told she could never have children. It would be shame if I let my life go to waste and complain about another year older.
My mother was one of my greatest spiritual teachers in life, for I am living proof that if God has whispered something to your heart, it's only a matter of time before your secret dreams do come to pass, if you don't stop believing, and you don't ever give up.
Today I wanted to reflect back and give you my list of 41 things I wish I knew before I was 41 because let me tell you...
It's been wild, and sometimes very painful journey back home to the centre of myself but the love I have in my heart is something I wouldn't trade for anything.
1. A better body will never make you truly happy or more successful in life, but know that if you focus solely on your body it is a sure way to failure. That being said, if you don’t honour that temple of yours, you will never reach your maximum potential in life or live long enough to fulfill your true life’s purpose. While abs are nice to have, your kids don’t need you to have abs, they need you to be alive, happy, healthy, and living your life on purpose.
2. You will never have external worth, riches or abundance if you don’t have it on the inside first. More money will never bring you real freedom, you only think it will. The only way to be truly free and independent is to be your own source of supply. If you can't save 10% of everything you make when you make your first $100, you'll never save 10% when you make your first million. Everything big starts small! Don't ever skip the basics, you will end up with a very basic life.
3. If you can’t afford to pay cash for it, you can’t afford it. No interest, no payments might seem like a great idea at the time, but just wait until you lose your job or your business, and creditors are calling you, and you have to decide between paying interest on a new washing machine, or putting food on the table.
4. It’s usually when you get angry and tired of being treated like a piece of crap, the real magic happens. No, scratch that. It’s usually when you are tired and angry at yourself and your own BS for always treating yourself like crap, real magic happens, and the whole game of life changes.
5. I am never scared to lose money. I was only ever scared when I lost my mind, and I lost my mind when I was only ever focused on losing money. Let this be a reminder that you can always make more money. You might not ever get a second chance to make a better quality of life, so be sure to get your priorities straight. Fear and anxiety is a disease of the mind. When you master your mind and change your thoughts, you’ll find a little slice of heaven.
6. When you feel "bad" for someone, angry or frustrated you carry that with negative lacking energy with you. It affects your health, happiness, relationships and finances. Nothing is worth closing your heart over, and no one ever wants you to feel sorry or bad for them. They aren’t a victim. You sadly are, and have yet to wake up and realize this.
7. Your boss makes the big bucks to handle it. You don’t. Stop taking crap from people who will never be sitting around your dinner table, or sitting beside you on your death bed. Get up and build your dreams, not go to work to build someone else’s!
8. Most people are jealous, envious, and negative simply because they aren’t growing in life so take no offence and be kind to everyone you meet, for we all have the exact same greatness from within, only in different form. You’ll always be “too much” for some people, but I would much rather you be too much, than not enough and the cheapest option in the room.
9. You’ll always be scared of speaking up or standing up for yourself. God gave you a voice, so use it and speak up and continue to work hard on your insecurities. Your voice and what only you know could save a life, and by you not using your voice it’s a disgrace to your very life existence. You should be ashamed of yourself for keeping quiet when you’ve got something important to say simply because you're scared. Regret stinks and you might not ever get a second chance to say what you should have said when you had the opportunity to speak. Don’t be a coward. Be courageous, for it feels so much better!
10. Not everyone will like or love you. It’s not your job to care because there is a 100% chance they don’t even like or love themselves either. Move along and pay no attention to those throwing stones at a house that is built so strong that it can’t break.
11. If people leave or reject you, let them. It’s a blessing in disguise really. One day instead of asking God why this is all happening, you’ll be giving thanks and giving all the glory to God for his Divine perfection.
12. Happiness can never be bought (except perhaps maybe in a little bag of all dressed chips or a chocolate chip cookie of course;)). When you are happy from within first, you will one day be able buy whatever you want, whenever you want, and eat whatever the heck you want too!
13. There is beauty in simplicity. Bigger is not necessarily better, and less is sometimes way more. If you can’t handle the basics of your own life, you’re way too busy and not even enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard for.
14. The black sheep is the better of the two options, and there is nothing wrong with being different. You just think there is. You were created perfect the moment you came into this world, weird quirks, and all. Unfollow the herd, your life is less likely to be full of crap.
15. True self love is breathtaking. When you finally get there, you’ll want to stay in that presence forever.
16. Your goals and dreams are worth fighting for, and they never care how you feel, what’s going on in your life or how busy you are. If you ask for more out of your life, be prepared to give more and work hard. Serving at a high level never requires sitting around, being bored, and doing nothing. When you’re called to a high level you need to be prepared to operate at a high level and be humbled and honoured enough to not complain about it.
17. You can’t get mad at people for not understanding you when you’ve been living a lie your whole life. Eventually the truth of who you really are must come out, and the truth will set you free. At first well-meaning people will think something is wrong with you and say that you’re different, as if to say it’s a bad thing. Nothing is wrong with you. You are home free now, and you’re simply being yourself now. Some people will not like that because you’ve worked hard to change and transform your life for the better. They haven’t, and now you are reflecting back to them something they have never seen before, or ever thought was possible. Be proud, stand tall, and keep shining bright. This is the day you’ve been waiting your whole life for!
18. Your biggest hater will likely be a close friend or family member whom you know very well, but know that you can never actually hate someone you don’t actually love first. Your haters have just yet to realize that whatever they hate weakens only themselves, so keep being the bigger person and send them love anyways. Eventually they will wake up, and get tired of being the only loser in their own life.
19. No one is allowed to tell you what you’re worth or what you can and cannot do with your life. Always abide by the law of course, but know that no one is allowed to tell you what you should be doing with your life, your body, your career, your education, or your finances. Make sure you hold that measuring stick, and make sure you’re in the driver’s seat of your own life. Otherwise, you’re always going to be miserable, sitting in the back seat, giving your life away, and that’s your own fault.
20. The things you hate about yourself and what’s weird about you will be what separates you from the rest of the pack and will serve your purpose in life. What comes easy or natural for you is your gift, and your gifts will always make time for you, for they never feel like work. Learn to love everything about yourself and your life and use it like magic, because it is, and it’s why you’re here.
21. You can learn any new skill, and the thing that scares you the most is the very thing you must learn how to overcome. Either fear wins or you win, and that's on you.
22. Changing your life is hard, and takes a lot of hard work, dedication, consistency, and commitment. But doing this work is not nearly as hard as not changing your life and complaining about it for the rest of your life as you watch others soar past you.
23. Expect anything worth fighting for to take a long time, and five times longer if you’ve got children. Extraordinary things take time to build, but know and trust you will be delivered right on time, but know you will always need to go through hell first.
24. You are always one big failure away from a ridiculously amazing life. Keep failing and keep moving forward. It's part of the plan.
25. Sometimes you need to talk back. You’re not a door mat, so never let anyone walk all over you. If someone ever says to you that you are too good for them, or too much for them. Walk away. You are too good for them. You’ve grown, and they haven’t. You want more for your life and your family, and they don’t. Never defend, justify, or explain yourself. There is no need to. If they really wanted to keep you around, they would have been growing right alongside you, and supporting you every step of the way. Sometimes you have to walk away from people and places that are too small to hold you. They don’t deserve your time or your presence.
26. You’ve always held the key to unlock the cage of your pain and suffering, and yes, it’s a conscious decision as to whether or not you’re going to stay locked up in the cage, or if you’re going to set yourself free by deciding which door to choose.
27. Eating healthy and moving your body every day is a non-negotiable if you want to unlock your true purpose in life
28. Getting up at 4 or 5am and sitting alone with yourself in meditation will be the best investment, the greatest gift, and the greatest return on your entire life hands down.
29. I never lost anything when I failed miserably in life. I only ever gained something in the process and went up a notch each time I fell flat on my face. Always trust yourself enough to take the leap of faith, for even if you do fall, you will still end up exactly where you are meant to be.
30. Some things are designed to fall apart. Let them, as something bigger and better is waiting for you. Learning to let go, heal, trust, love and believe in yourself will be the hardest work you’ve ever done on your entire life. Always choose the hard work over taking the easy way out or settling in life. That’s how you find bliss and true personal freedom in the end.
31. Stop hanging around people who aren’t growing in life. If you’re not careful they will start rub off on you and you will begin to slide backwards in your own life too. Be the person who levels up, and always ask for help from someone doing way better in life than you.
32. Every single time I didn’t trust my gut, and went ahead and trusted people anyways, I always got taken advantage or things went sideways. The painful life lessons are always necessary for your growth. If something doesn’t feel right to you, always trust that gut feeling and intuition, regardless of who you might offend.
33. Meditation will save your life. Meditation will save the world. If you're not even in love and connected to yourself first, how on earth would you ever expect to be in love, and connected with others around you? Don't hate. Meditate.
34. You can always do way more than you think. The hard work starts when you’re exhausted, but know that prayer, asking for help, placing something in God’s hands will lighten your load. Not a person who believes in a higher power? Let’s just wait and see about that. When you’ve officially hit rock bottom trying in your own strength, and you’re crying out to someone who’s not even there to come and save you, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. At the end of the day, you’re going to be the one who is alone and scraping yourself up off that ground. There’s beautiful about that. You can't accomplish anything without God on your side.
35. God is everywhere, in everyone and in everything. When you know this, you wouldn’t even want to kill a spider and are grateful for even the smallest of things.
36. You don’t ever need to go out and get anything. The right people, teachers, and opportunities will come into your life when you need them and are ready to receive them. If you need to go out and get something or someone, that means you're operating in the negative and yes, people feel that weak desperate energy and will be repelled from you.
37. Ask and you shall receive. If you’ve over-delivered the past 20 years and have gotten nothing in return and aren't making progress in your life, chances are you’re operating in a space of deficiency, not good enough, people pleasing and lack. You must do the inner work to know you are worthy to receive and start ask more out of yourself.
38. You need nothing outside of yourself to complete you. Wholeness and fulfilment is an inside job. You came into this world naked and alone. You’ll leave this world with something so much greater inside of you. When you’ve got that, you’ve struck the real gold in life and need nothing to complete you or to make you whole. That’s the ultimate life goal. Not more stuff. More life! More purpose! More energy! More joy!
39. Patience is hard, especially when in a dark season and your back is against the wall and nothing is happening. Keep trusting the process and keep pushing forward, knowing that you will be the ultimate breakthrough! It’s usually when you are between a rock and hard spot, or your back is against the wall you find out what you’re truly made of. Trust me, she won’t sink, nor will she ever be stuck alone in the dark ever again.
40. Above all else, I put God first in my life. Everything else flows perfectly after this! That could also mean putting yourself first on the to-do list every morning, because if you get real quiet, and still enough, you will KNOW exactly what I’m talking about. When you do that, you will never reject or discount yourself ever again because you’ve done the hard work from within to know you’re worth it and will spend the rest of your life living happily ever after.
41. You have to stop being everything to everyone and start being everything to yourself first. All root causes of pain and suffering in your life come from fear, addiction, insecurity, abuse, low self-worth, judgement, poverty, neglect and rejection. If you don't dig deep to heal these root causes of pain you'll continue to experience patterns and cycles of pain in your life. You will continue to attract and come into contact with people who are mirror images of yourself. This is all necessary and needed for your souls growth. Learn the lessons and then find the forgiveness in your heart to forgive others, and then yourself. Forgiving and accepting yourself will be the final piece before your liberation. Then you can rest, relax and receive all the goodness your heart desires for you've earned it and done the work to deserve it.
So there you have it! Another year older, another year wiser. What a blessing it is to be living life happily ever after.
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