Resting in Peace.... While you're still alive

My mom decided to end her life on December 12, 2020.
 
5 days later she had a medically assisted death, and during the whole time of her cancer battle, she called herself a Covid Miracle... She was.
 
That Saturday I will never forget...
 
She had moved into my home during the last stages of her life so that we could care for her.
 
During that time we were also slammed with 3 kids being home full-time, home-schooling, caring for my mom, cooking, cleaning, appointments, running 2 businesses from home... and my Wake up and Live book deadline.
 
I felt like I was getting slammed in every direction possible, but I also knew God would never give me more than I could personally handle.
 
She had kept asking me..... "How long before your books edits are done"...
 
Earlier that week I told her that I was hoping to be finished by Saturday.
 
Saturday came, and she called me into the room..... and that's when I knew....
 
I...
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Rock Bottom to Rebirth

There she was...
 
Such a beautiful person. A hard worker. Always showing up for others with a smile on her face. Always going above and beyond putting her best foot forward for bosses, co-workers, and strangers.
 
Underneath the mask, and at home was a different story.
 
She'd come home, walk in the door, and go back to the real world. Her reality. The dream life she planned for herself was far from perfect.
But nobody knew.
 
At night she'd cry herself to sleep.
While she was out shopping alone she'd look at couples in love and say to herself, "I want that".
Jealousy and envy sometimes consumed her.
She couldn't stand to see happy families together.
Every day she'd try hard to love, support and be kind, but she too was broken.
She too was hurt.
 
She too was tired of no support and doing it all by herself.
She too had dreams and hopes squashed.
She too was angry, and felt ripped off.
She too wanted more.
 
Deep within she...
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Heaven is Roaring - Rest in Peace Mom

My mom would sometimes say “I’ll catch you on the flip side”, except this time when I said my final goodbye, she simply said the words....
 
“I Am Ready”.
 
She closed her eyes, and at 11:04am on Thursday, December 17th she passed away and went to be with Jesus.
 
As someone who spends her days writing and speaking, there are days where I am at a loss for words. There are no words to write or to speak, but that is actually where the magic happens.
 
If you are still, present and listen quietly between breaths, you will know and hear your truth and the voice of God.
 
There comes a time in everyone’s life where a spiritual surrender must happen. Where we tap out. Where we surrender to God’s plan for our life, and not our own.
 
This year, a virus took the world by storm and we experienced a new normal. It was during this time in history, where my Mother received her lung cancer diagnosis, and started...
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There Must be Something in the Water

Fresh out of the water, and you know what... it was a perfect little COVID celebration and baptism and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

For many years... I would listen to the lyrics of @carrieunderwoods song.. as a country fan and all’s

There must be something in the water

He said, "I've been where you've been before.

Down every hallway's a slamming door.

No way out, no one to come and save me.
Wasting a life that the Good Lord gave me.

Couldn't fight back the tears so I fell on my knees.

Saying, "God, if you're there come and rescue me."

Felt love pouring down from above

Got washed in the water, washed in the blood and now I'm changed.

And now I'm stronger.

And now I'm singing along to amazing grace
Can't nobody wipe this smile off my face
Got joy in my heart, angels on my side
Thank God almighty, I saw the light

Gonna look ahead, no turning back

Live every day, give it all that I have
Trust in someone bigger than me

Ever since the day that I believed I am changed

...

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Always Take the Leap

If you can DREAM it. You can do it. We took a LEAP this week. I’ve been taking A LOT of scary leaps lately... and as scary as they are. I love it.

My book is currently in the works, as I’m working closely with the publisher... and we registered our business name which took me YEARS to come to a place in my heart that felt right.

The Personal Development and Wellness Empire I’ve been waking up EARLY to build for years. Online courses.... Online Life and Wellness Coaching.... and another book soon to be added to the library. That book I started writing over 3 years ago... in the wee hours of the morning.

But that’s the STUFF and years of dedication and consistency that you don’t see. The late nights. The early mornings. The sacrifices. The relentless action day in.. and day out. EVERY damn day to build my dreams.

More to come from me in 2020 including a new Podcast and some other top secret things 

MIND over Matter. It really is a beautiful journey...

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The Best Gifts

The best gifts  we can ever give our children is a healed version of ourselves.

We often tell our kids….”What you don’t know won’t hurt you. No kids. What you don’t know can KILL you.

I was picking out a splinter from Easton’s finger yesterday, and we were talking. I am just waiting for the day he loses his way. I am bracing myself for it. There’s such beauty in watching your child’s innocence and sweet perfection, and free spirit.

I told him the story about when I was obese, and how I was bullied. Chased home from school, and called mean names.

The list goes on after I lost my way. Yanked out of class, and put on a scale and instantly felt judged. The boyfriend who called me fat. The husband who told me that his drug addiction was my fault. The boss who told me I wasn’t worth that much.

Someone is going to judge you. Someone is going to try to make you conform to their rules. Someone is going to hurt you. Someone is...

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Dark Season of Life = Growth

mindset spirituality Dec 22, 2019

Did you know it’s impossible to be sad and depressed and GRATEFUL all at the same time??

And one day it just happens... Your darkness will be lifted, and turned to a bright white light. You are wide awake. Certain. Clear headed, happier, healthier and on a higher level of life.

All you gotta do is stop  complaining about the current LEVEL you are on. You’ll end up wondering around this beautiful life of yours lost because you’re not eligible for PROMOTION to a higher level.

STOP complaining about the HARD, for you are cancelling out the opportunity to get to the next level! You’re placed here on this earth to grow and evolve  and become your highest self.

Just stop complaining if you’re struggling, and say thank you. Let the tears of joy flow, because life is in fact happening FOR you, except you’ve failed to turn on the light and get that AHA moment yet.

Trust it. Accept it. Love the shit out of it, for the hard seasons....

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The Best is ALWAYS Yet to Come.

Can I share something with you?

I wasn’t always a believer.

The day we found out we were pregnant with Elliott, 2 white little butterflies landed on our windshield.

To date, my 6th pregnancy was the most peaceful and healthiest. I’ve been blessed with 3 babies here on earth to care for.

A Sense of Spirit. You must have that inner sense that you can’t see… but FEEL you have a sense of PURPOSE and direction.

Her pregnancy was smooth. I wasn’t scared. I continued my workouts 5-6 times a week. I drank my superfoods, ate well, watched my portions. Enjoyed cookies when I wanted, and we scheduled her delivery by c-section. Healthy and strong she was.

I wasn’t always convinced. WHY would all these bad things keep happening to me?

From miscarriages, car accidents, financial hardship, a loved one with a hidden drug addiction, divorce, loss of a job, health scares.. WHY?

Today I know better. Today I’ve come out, understanding that life was in fact...

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Do not SHRINK for anyone. Period

n 2 months I have the honour of speaking to a room full of amazing Entrepreneurs. The dreamers. The risk takers.

There comes a time where you need to stand up for yourself. The one time I did that, I was fired from my job.

The truth is, I could FEEL it within that I wasn’t where I should be. The hardest part is acting on that FEELING, and not settling simply because you’re scared... or “comfy”

Sometimes people won’t like it when you speak your voice. When you stand in your power and do what you feel is right for your life, instead of doing what you’re told to do.

Take up SPACE. It’s your birth right and do not SHRINK for anyone.

You really have TWO CHOICES:

Keep doing what you know isn’t working…. Or Take the LEAP and get busy creating a life you love.

I believe each us have goals, dreams, and we know EXACTLY want we want, but we play small simply because we’ve been conditioned to. We listen to that weak voice within,...

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Mind Viruses

Caught myself a nasty mind virus  yesterday. Gross actually now that I think about. Noticed it, and took ownership over managing the symptoms immediately before it took over and contaminated the rest of my life.

I found myself saying things like “I can’t afford this right now”....and “I’m busy”, but then I stopped myself.

I purchased the ticket. I committed to going to San Diego and jumped in on something that I’d been thinking about, and wanted to do.

I know that it is going to grow  me into the person I’m capable of becoming, and the more I surround myself with players at a higher level than me, the more I LEVEL up in my life too.

Told Dennis I’ll be away for a conference... and that was that.

I didn’t need to ask permission. I didn’t need to run it by him first to get is approval. I’m with someone who supports me fully. As reciprocated, and I support him fully if he feels called to do...

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"You get in life what you have the courage to ask for" ~ Oprah Winfrey