8 years separate these 2 pictures, and the transformation you can't see is the one I'm most proud of.
There's a 70 pound difference between the two pictures. Back then I didn't know what self care was. I fondly remember sitting on the couch at 3pm still in my pink robe, un showered, unshaven, and crying because I had no time.
4 months after this picture was taken I become a single mother and was in my doctors appointment getting anti-depressants and sleeping medication because of "situational" depression. I took a stress leave from work.. Not my first one either. I took two.
LIFE. Knocking me down. Stress. Chaos. Single Parenting. Financial Trouble. Trauma.
You see... it took me nearly 4 MORE years after this to make a change. TO get serious enough to realize that my life and circumstances weren't going to improve unless I started getting VERY serious about the direction of my life, my health, and what I wanted it to look like.
I speak to women on the daily. Burnt out. Exhausted....
Peace of Mind. What would that be of WORTH to you?
Did you know that pills have no skills? That even IF you pop a pill, you still gotta do work to get better?
A moment of intense vulnerability here. But it’s going out there, as I know someone out there NEEDS this. Feel free to share if you know someone struggling too
The transformation I am most proud of in the past 6 weeks.. in my life?? Not abs. Not 80 pounds.
Let me tell you. Coming OFF of these anxiety pills hasn’t been fun. Brain zaps. Exhaustion. Irritability. Insomnia. Bloating. Indigestion. Moodiness. Confusion. Brain Fog. Fear.
This wasn’t the first time I was prescribed medication.
The first time was when my marriage ended, and I was battling LIFE, and Postpartum depression, situational circumstances made coping VERY heard.
The second time was I lost someone I loved dearly, and I took my second stress leave from work. I was so embarrassed, and ashamed. I felt judged, and honestly hated going back to...
Do you suffer from mom guilt?? The struggle is real isn’t it?
This morning I was thinking... Brain was going a million miles a minute...
Little babe will be ONE soon, and this year has flown by. Makes me sad a little..
I started feeling guilty....
Guilty for taking some extra time during my workout this morning..
Guilty for saying “THANK GOD”, it’s back to school today kids! ... now hurry along
Guilty for not planning a big 1st birthday party.. (she’s getting shafted)..
Guilty for not keeping up on her baby book.. (working on it)
Guilty for giving the kids Kraft Dinner..
Guilty for keeping her in her Jammie’s all day..
Guilty for not being more “Present”... Shit... With 3 kids is they even a thing???
Guilty for working a little extra this weekend
Guilty for not showering..
Then I snapped out of it. Thinking of all the good things.. The important things like how much my heart explodes with LOVE even though there are days I’m...
"You get in life what you have the courage to ask for" ~ Oprah Winfrey