Balancing it All - Building a Business From Home While Being a Present Parent

Let’s just  say that working from home and/or building your own business while raising kids is no joke.  In fact, if I had to compare when I was working in the corporate world out of the home as an employee versus working for yourself at home... There is absolutely no comparison. 

That's a whole other level of... I don't even know what to call it...  Mastery?  Earning What You're Worth is Fun?  Calling All The Shots?  You're On Your Own Now With No Safety Net?  A Shit Show?  A Fucking Blur?  Terror and Fear?  A Big Old Piss Pot of Frustration and Anger at Times?  Trusting In Yourself and Your Own Inner Magic?  Creativity?  Free Will?  Freedom?  An Elite Level of Genius?  If God Be For Me Who Can Be Against Me?  Total Awesomeness?  The Greatest Life Challenge of All Time?  Always Pay Your Taxes or You'll Be Screwed?  You're Gonna Find Out Who Your Real Friends Are?  Bravery and Courage?  Multi-Tasking At The Highest Level?  What Maternity Leave?  Thank You Jesus?  No Off Switch?  Rebellion?  Living the Dream?  I'm So Thankful?  Holy Shit I Actually Did It?  I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me?  lol...  If only people really knew what goes inside the mind of an entrepreneur or a work from home mom who has everything she ever once dreamed of and more.

So now let's insert...  Being your own boss, building businesses, following your heart, taking leaps of faith, experiencing failure after failure, facing fears, doing the work to truly find yourself and learning how to become a conscious creator of your life, and designing your life in a way that works for you and your family is still no joke...  But it's absolutely worth it and it will in fact make you feel the most alive if done properly.. or the most dead if you've burned yourself out.

So whether or not you are working from home at your 9-5, building a business, have your kids in school full-time, have them home with you, are someone that is on their own journey of self-discovery, or even some troll on the internet who thinks that people who work from home or being their own boss "must have it easier",  "hardly work," "and it must be so nice," or "why do you need daycare when you work from home"...  I hope the following serves you well. 

It might inspire some to be their own boss, or it might just inspire someone to go find a job out of the house and leave the leadership and responsibility up to someone else while they sleep peacefully at night.  Neither one is better or worse than the other.  It's just what works best for you and what you really want in your own life.

Now working from home is not all yoga pants, time freedom, and coffee breaks while the baby naps, despite what social media or your family members who just pop over unannounced and randomly in the middle of the day might assume.  For the serious ones on a mission and building something of real significance, purpose, and impact, it's very different.  There is no wasted time because when you're doing something you truly love, time just passes by so quickly and you're lost in the magic of doing what you were created to do.. and yes, you can be BOTH.  Be a mother, and be someone else who has a calling, a career, and another passion and purpose too.  

Not to mention doing it all while raising your babies AND being a present parent.. That's a whole other level of time management, heart opening, and spiritual mastery.  Doing it all with young kids introduces a level of chaos and even internal conflict that can make even the most ambitious and enlightened person question their life choices in moments of utter chaos and stress.  Yet, here you are with your big dreams, creative ideas, time constrictions, after school pick ups, dance classes, zoom meetings, snack breaks, client deadlines, presentation preparations, Christmas dinner, homework help, clothes shopping for growing kids and the mounting pressure of trying to juggle it all.

So let’s talk honestly about what this lifestyle really looks like and how to not just survive it, but thrive (or at least find peace without losing your fucking mind, having a nervous breakdown, and ruining your health and all your relationships.)

The Real Challenges No One Likes to Admit... But I also want to say that on a deeper (or perhaps on a higher level) you can change it, and make your life exactly how YOU want it to be.

1. Constant Interruptions

Whether your child is three or thirteen, they don’t care what you actually do for a living.  They don't.  They don't care if you're on a call with a client or you're in the middle of a project and in your zone of flow and genius.  In fact, they probably don't even think you're working or doing anything of significance.  The reality is they want you.  They want their snack.  They want a baked potato in their lunch, or a bandaid now.  These constant interruptions can derail your focus and leave you feeling like you're running all over the place, never fully present in work or with your family. You’re in a constant state of being “half-there,” and that mental disconnection can build up over time and cause even the strongest person to crack.

2. Lack of Respect (or Understanding) from Family

“Oh, you work from home? That must be nice. You must get so much free time!”  "Do you think you can come over tomorrow and help me with something?"  Cue the internal scream and mounted frustration.  Many family members (and even friends) equate working from home with not working at all.  You may find yourself the go-to person for errands, tech support, favours, unplanned visits because you’re “just at home.”  This dismissiveness can chip away at your sense of self-worth and create resentment, tension, anger, and even a big royal blow up especially if you’re genuinely working every day and those around you don't think you're doing anything.  

3. The Kids Need You All The Time

It doesn’t matter how many “Do Not Disturb” signs you put on your office door or how many times you tell them that "Mommy just needs a minute to get something done" kids have a sixth sense for when you’re busiest or the most stressed and that’s when they want to be around you or want to snuggle.  It always seems like when you have an extra minute to do your thing someone needs you or the door bell rings.  You’re constantly pulled between two identities: CEO business owner or professional and doing work you love to do and being a parent. Neither gets your full energy and both demand it anyway.

4. Work-Life Blur (What Balance?)

When your home is your office the lines between “work” and “life” blur really fast.  You start checking emails at bedtime, squeezing in projects during nap time, get an inspired idea after dinner and sneak off to get it on paper, messaging a client to complete a sale at 7am, or you're feeling guilty for taking a break because you want to get that thing you're working on completed,  but the floor needs sweeping and the kids laundry needs to be put away.  Instead of achieving “balance,” you start drowning in the overlap of roles and never fully switch off or take time just for yourself.

5. Isolation and Loneliness

Here’s the one no one talks about enough.  It can be extremely lonely at times.  You might go days without talking to another adult outside of your spouse.  You’re constantly in demand, yet feel might feel incredibly alone.  There’s no water cooler chat, no shared lunch breaks, and depending on your situation no Christmas party or Holiday Luncheon that requires a fancy outfit.  There is no talking about the latest episode of the Bachelor with your office bestie either.  It's just you, your laptop, your dreams, your comfy yoga pants, your husband, and your kids and possibly your pets who also want snuggles.  This isolation, especially over time, can take a very hefty toll on your mental health and overall well-being.

So… How Do You Keep the Peace (and Stay Happy and Sane)?

Here are five honest strategies to help you:

1. Create and Enforce a Schedule

Don't just leave your work hours up to randomness.  Treat your business like you would any other job you had to go to with a specific working hours and create this boundary and adhere to it. You call the shots.  Create what you want!  Do you want to work 100 hours or 30?  3 hours a day or 14?  It's totally up to you!  It's easy to wake up early and just rush into your to-do list and respond.  It's easy to think you need to do what everyone else is doing.  It's easy to work all weekend long because you've got nothing better to do. (Which btw go for it if you're in the early stages of your business.  If you're sitting there eating Cheetos and watching reruns and the kids are off doing their own thing, you're better off building that dream business and doing what you love instead of couch rotting).  Use your morning time just for a sacred and spiritual reset to be with yourself.  Post your schedule on your office door, or fridge or wherever your family will see it.  Make it crystal clear when you are not to be disturbed (except in emergencies) and work at creating what you want!

2. Rent a Studio, Go To The Coffee Shop Even Just a Few Hours a Week or Put Your Kids in Daycare for A Few Hours or Even Full Time

This can be a game-changer.  Getting out of the house, even just once or twice a week, allows you to be fully focused and breathe.  Whether it's a local co-working space, a small studio, the library or coffee shop, having a designated, interruption-free workspace can do wonders for your productivity and your mental health. There is also no shame in daycare or finding a suitable Nanny to help.  Remember, we are past the point of trying to do it all ourselves.  Plus, it helps reset the narrative and teaches your children that your dreams and life matters too!  You do have a real job and sometimes that means physically going to work and/or taking some creative time to be with yourself.  In the beginning the thought of "working from home" or "being a stay at home mom" sounds wonderful, but after many years, many lessons, many tears, and many interruptions, you might want to begin thinking about creating something that works for everyone...and on your own terms.  You might also miss working.  You are the creator of your own life experience so create what you want!  Create business hours that work for you, manifest that dream Nanny that your children love to spend time with when they aren't with you or create another work location for only yourself without distractions, interruptions, or using someone else's free wifi!  Blissful right?

3. Have a “Frustration and Annoyance Plan”

You will get overwhelmed, frustrated, annoyed and pissed off.  Anyone who tells you otherwise likely is lying to you or trying to show you their happy and perfect lives.  So plan for some wild emotions and feelings.  Have a reset plan that calms you down.  Go for a drive, do some yoga, do some deep cleaning, spend each Friday at the spa, factor in a little nap each afternoon, have a mantra to ground yourself,  remind yourself how incredible you are, take off to the mall for a few hours, treat yourself to your favourite ice cream cone or even book yourself a hotel room and order room service for a couple nights works wonders.  Releasing the pressure can keep you from exploding in front of your kids or imploding into guilt, shame, regret, and exhaustion.  Not to mention it allows you to be more creative and energized too.

4. Communicate Your Boundaries (Over and Over Again Until You're Blue in The Face)

This part can be exhausting but essential.  You have to stand up for yourself and be the leader of your own life.  You have to fight for your wants, dreams, and desires because no one will.  You have to repeatedly remind the people in your life that you are doing something that is important and that you enjoy and want to do.  It's what you do for a living and it makes you feel most alive!  Have a conversation with your partner, parents, kids, in-laws, etc. about what support you actually need from them can help tremendously.  Don't just assume they can be a mind reader.  Communicate and and express your needs clearly before it comes to a big blow up.  You are allowed to say “no,” delegate, or draw very clear lines in the sand.  If you have to say it more than once, do so and stand up for yourself without an apology or feeling bad.

5. Stop Trying to Do It All and Choose What Matters Truly Matters To You.

Let go of perfection and come to the understanding that some days your work will suffer and some days your parenting will.  You won't be perfect, but the good news is that in the present moment you can shower yourself with some love and grace.  Some days you'll say "screw it all" and just eat Lucky Charms and order pizza again.. and you know what?  That's all okay!  What matters most is your mental health and your ability to be present for what really truly matters which is always yourself and your family.  You know.. The people who can't truly be replaced.  Insert the song "I'm in a Hurry" right here... We don't need to rush and rush until life's no fun and we can stop.  We don't have a fucking thing to prove to anyone and all you gotta do is live and die!  There is no race and you are first place in your own life.  It's a beautiful concept right?  It's also the truth.  Give yourself permission to rest when you need to or just do “just enough” in some areas so you can show up your best for others.    Let everything else go.

Always remember, you're not lazy.  You're working 2 full time jobs at the same time, and in the same space.  You are exceptional in all that you do, but with a lot of stress and pressure can come guilt or it can bring a complete inner transformation, breakthrough, and an awakening to something or someone far greater.

Instead of burning out, you're shining brighter so give yourself grace, ask for help when you need it, rent or purchase that studio, eat that pizza, manifest those big dreams of yours like it's your #1 job (because it is), and take that luxury vacation, unplug completely, enforce a strict do not disturb boundary, and thoroughly enjoy your inner peace and blissful era.  Most importantly know you're not alone even though it can feel like it sometimes. 

Ready to rise even higher?  Join the Rise and Shine Challenge today by going to www.lindsayrose.ca/riseandshinechallenge

Recommended Life Transformation Programs and Products:

Rise and Shine Challenge

Upcoming Live Events and Workshops

7 Day Manifesting Challenge

Morning Meditations

30 Morning Prayers

Additional Reads:

Wake Up and Live - 101 Days of Deep Inner Work to Transform Your Life

Rise and Shine - 101 Days to a Happier You

Taking Your Personal Power Back - 101 Days of Relentless Action Forward

High Level Leadership - Levelling Up to Meet Your Highest Self