Mom You're No Fun

It’s been 3 full days since the last day of school, and last night I found myself feeling very frustrated. The amount of snack bowls and plates I picked up in a matter of 1 day was about to send me over the edge. Like really… How many snacks do kids really need?

Then something happened, which I knew eventually would.

“Mom, I’m bored, and you’re no fun.”

Fuck. The dreaded "I’m bored" stuff that comes when there really isn’t anything more to do, and your kind of "fun" isn’t what your kids consider "fun."

Let me first say that I’ve been a stay at home mom for 10 years now.  During this time my kids have been in daycare and school because I do run my own business.  But it's been 10 years of being home, and working from home and that's been a long time.  So during the summer months when the kids are home it’s a different kind of life.  My schedule is different.  My priorities shift.  It's different and I'm not sure how I really feel about that.  

Because fun for me is pretty boring.

Fun for me would be sitting for a couple of hours on the front porch with the sunshine on my face, listening to birds chirp.

Fun for me would be lighting a candle and relaxing on the couch while reading a book.

Fun for me would be organizing my closet and purging random things I no longer need, use, or want.

Fun for me is cleaning, buying myself some fresh flowers, and eating a hot dog and tater tots while watching Love is Blind or Selling Sunset.

Fun for me is being home with nothing to do.

Fun for me is sitting in meditation, doing a workout, or laying on my yoga mat. 

Fun for me would be channelling messages from spirit or writing in complete silence.

Fun for me is going to a luxurious spa where no one is talking.

Fun for me is simplicity, calm, peace, quiet, cleanliness, silence, and no big crowds of people around.  

That’s fun for me. But for kids? Not so much.

Three days since school has been out, and let me just say we've already done crafts, been to the dollar store, played board games, been to the park, gone to McDonald’s, had a sleepover with friends, one had gone camping and to a pool party that had bouncy castles, and now they’re bored.

Well… Kids, Mom is exhausted.

No, really. I was, and I began to wonder why I had been so tired. Was it because I was doing too much, or was it because I wasn’t doing enough of the things that made me feel alive?

Sure, as a mom, most of my waking hours do revolve around taking care of my kids, and the most important role I will ever have is raising my babies. But there are some days where I’m tired, and I just want to go away on a little vacation alone and eat room service while having no one ask me for snacks.

And we’ve got 2 more months to go.

I found myself sitting in my room trying to come up with things to do because I’m someone who doesn’t actually like to plan things out. I’m more of a "let’s wake up and see where the wind blows us" or "let's wake up and see what we feel like doing" kind of person, but with kids, I’m not sure that kind of free spirit actually works well with little ones on summer break.  

Maybe we’ll do a beach day. Then I thought about getting sand all over the place, walking in the scorching heat, and using public bathrooms. Nope. Not fun.

Maybe I’ll take them to a water park. Then I thought about the stress of having to keep an eye on small children in a zoo full of people, making sure my kids don’t drown, going pee in a public bathroom in a wet swim suit and how "fun" that really is. Nope. Not fun.

Maybe I'll take them to a theme park and we'll ride some rides.  Then I pictured hot sweaty humans walking around complaining about how hot and sweaty it is, me wearing shorts, the long long time ups, no shade, melting ice cream cones, and thought.  Hard pass.

Maybe I'll take them to the zoo.  But really.  No matter how many times you see an Elephant, a sleeping Lion or a Giraffe.  Nothing ever changes.  So nope.  Been there, done that a few too many times.  

Maybe I’ll plan a picnic at the park.  Then I thought that sounds cute.  But no.

Maybe I'll book us another trip somewhere.  Then I thought about cramming ourselves into a hotel room, all the suitcases and all the work involved and thought.  Meh.  Maybe some other time.  Don't get me wrong.  I love travelling, but sometimes you need a vacation after the vacation and right now.

Maybe I'll plant a fairy garden with them.  Then I thought about how that's one more thing to water, keep alive, and eventually throw out, and thought.  Nope. 

Maybe I’ll book a cottage. Then I thought about how I’d still be the one cooking and cleaning. I thought about the sand, the dirt, the bugs, and thought, Nope. Not my kind of fun.

I thought about how fun my kids would have, and then I pictured my own miserable face doing all of these not so fun things and thought.  Yup.  She was right. Mom is no fun and I'm totally okay with that right now.  

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll book myself a couple of days at the spa alone and lounge poolside. Yes! That’s what I had in mind.

No, really. That’s probably what I need and want the most, if I’m being completely honest.

The school year is busy.

With parents working, keeping up with everything else, the sports, the appointments, the cooking, the driving places, the laundry, the cleaning, dance, soccer, gymnastics, volleyball, driving lessons, shopping, the taking care of everyone... it’s busy.

But do moms ever get a summer break?

Do we ever get the chance to sit around and complain about how bored we are and have someone magically schedule something fun for us to do?

Do we get to sit and just eat snacks all day and have someone clean up after us?

Well... for most moms, that would be a no.

For those who have live-in nannies, live-in chefs, live-in cleaners, and a staff running their house? Sure. Maybe. But that’s not the kind of life I think would be fun. I mean, it wouldn’t even feel like my house. It would feel like I had company 24/7, and that would not be "fun" for me. I like my space. I like my privacy. That’s fun for me.

So where am I going with this blog post?

Quite honestly, I have no clue.

There’s nothing inspirational I want to add to make someone else feel better about their life.

There are no tips I’m going to share for busy moms with no time.

I have no more ideas about how to make your own summer better with the kids or fun exciting things to do.

There is no five steps to getting yourself recharged. None of that.

But what I will say is that sometimes we have to say no to doing things we don’t really want to do so that we, as moms, can be the happiest and healthiest for our kids.

There is no more "taking one for the team" in my house. If Mom doesn’t want to go camping, fishing, hiking, to a cottage, to a busy public beach, or to a busy water park, there will be absolutely none of that shit happening.

And that’s not because I’m a bad mom. It’s because I’m a really excellent mom, and doing those things would probably turn me into a miserable bitch no one would actually want to be around.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you’re feeling the pressure to do anything you don’t want to do because you’re "no fun," then here’s your permission slip to be a boring mom who’s no fun without any guilt.

At least you’ll be happy, and the truth is, your kids will be much better for it in the long run too.

Good luck with the summer and finding fun things to do... or not.

xo

Lindsay

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