No one talks about the added layer of grief when you lose someone you love and then also have to grieve the relationship you never got but wish you did.  

If you're carrying unfinished business and unsaid conversations with either your mother or father, this one is for you.

It’s one thing to lose someone you love and can never see them again.

That kind of grief sticks with you forever, and not a day goes by where you won’t think of them or miss them.

But…

It’s another type of debilitating grief when you lose someone you love but then also have to grieve the loss of the childhood you wish you had but never got. A double… perhaps a triple fucking whammy.

You not only have to grieve the loss of the “relationship”, but you also have to make peace with the way you wish things would have been different between the both of you.

And this is the kind of grief that can happen when a person is alive but also has passed away.

In fact, the pain is only amplified once that person leaves the physical realm.

Not only do you not speak with them, but you’re also constantly reminded of what you didn’t get, and this actually hurts a hell of a lot more and impacts your life, health, and relationships a lot more than someone who had a loving and stable relationship in the first place.

You might begin to say to yourself, you can’t really miss someone you never really knew… or never were really that close with, but that’s a lie, and the wound keeps getting deeper and deeper the longer you deny it.

You have to feel it all, and then release it all.

As a medium, I spend my days connecting with spirits, and what I know to be true is that there is only LOVE on the other side. Just love.

No hate, no anger, no blame, no pain, no sadness, but a complete understanding of the truth and freedom…

The problem with that, though, is that while your departed loved one is living in peace and freedom on the other side, you might be over here on this side living in pain and unprocessed anger, hate, bitterness, contempt, rejection and disappointment.

And guess what that leads too? Sickness, disease, depression, divorce, anxiety, addiction, low self-worth, financial difficulties, obesity, eating disorders, low back problems, gut issues, hormonal imbalances, low self-confidence, body dysmorphia, infertility, cancer, a heart attack, and a miserable fucking life in general.

So here’s what to do…. Find a quiet space alone.

Imagine you have that person with you right now.  Sitting across from you.

If you had to have one more conversation with them, what would you really say to their face?  Tell them exactly what you’re feeling. Tell them exactly what you think of them.  Tell them how they impacted your life.  Tell them.  Tell them how pissed off, angry, sad, enraged, disgusted, or disappointed you are in them.

Tell them everything out loud and allow yourself to express any emotions you need to release.  (And yes, this is the part that kind of looks crazy because you'll be all alone with yourself, but it is absolutely necessary.)

Like, really let them have it. Punch a pillow. Call them every name in the book. Break something of theirs that you have lying around and that you don't really like.  Throw a belonging of theirs in the garbage.  Now isn’t the time to be “nice”.  Now is the time to be honest and to get everything out of your system.

Tell them exactly how you’re feeling and get that negative energy out of you.

Keeping this all bottled up inside of you only makes your life a living hell, but when you do this work, you eventually return to love, and you are eventually only left with good memories.  

And the frequency of love, forgiveness, peace, compassion, honesty, acceptance, gratitude, and understanding?…

Well, that changes everything. It changes you and it changes the world around you too.

Ready to Connect for a Private 1:1 Reading?

If you need some assistance, you can always book a private reading with me. Go to www.lindsayrose.ca/spiritualmedium for more details on how to reserve a session.

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Additional Reads:

Wake Up and Live - 101 Days of Deep Inner Work to Transform Your Life

Rising Higher - 101 Days of Rising Happy, Healthy and Free to Serve a Greater Good

Personal Power - 101 Day of Relentless Action Forward

Life Worth Living - A 28-Day Guide to Inner Peace, Love, and Joy

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