The Eve of my 39th BirthdayOct 15, 2020
Unfiltered and Real.
Tomorrow I turn 39, and I felt called to send you something tonight as I sit here and reflect over the course of my 39 years of life.
I can tell you that I have never felt more alive, more healthier, more happier, more grateful, more creative, more free, more authentic, and more aligned with who I was created to be then right now.. on THIS day.
But it wasn't always like this though.....
In fact, I'm pretty sure I lost my way from my source of connection very early in life.
Growing up morbidly obese, feeling not good enough, divorce, heartache single parenting, miscarriages, starting over, death of loved ones, car accidents, home invasion, lawyers, being fired from a job, trauma, PTSD, I often would joke with my best friends...
It's no wonder I'm not locked in a looney bin yet.... It showed.
In my 39 years of life, I've been through a lot, and I can say that I've experienced MORE darkness than light... but these days I choose to shine in the light. There is NO other option for me.
There is no sliding backwards for me. Only growth. Only failing forward.
It's a conscious choice to do the hard work on myself every day, embrace who I was created to be, scars and all, despite what others may think, so that I can share my gifts with the world.
This past year was a doozy.... and while I don't share everything on social media I can tell you that a new version of myself emerged this year. I feel as if I have grown 10 feet this year.
When you work on overcoming yourself, you return back to an unconditional source of pure love. That takes years... and hours upon hours of sitting with yourself ALONE..... In the dark.
But while in the darkness it sucks. It's challenging and we can turn our own darkness into hate, and judgement.
It's WHY I'm such a huge advocate for eating healthy, movement, and of course my #1 daily meditation. It's why I am so dedicated to helping people really figure this out!
HEALING comes from within. A ROOT cause of WHY you're not at peace. WHY you're still depressed, unhealthy, anxious, and struggling in life.
Getting to the bottom of it is key!
I filmed it this morning, as this work is so so so important!
When you heal yourself, you will only have pure unconditional love for yourself, and pure love for those around you, and there is NO quick fix to getting there.
What I discovered these past 39 years is that what I was searching for my entire life was already locked up inside of me, and one of the greatest days in your entire life is unlocking and discovering your OWN divine greatness.
Of WHY... everything in your life happened for you, and what you're here to do in this world.
So many people spend their entire lives striving for more.. only to feel more empty on the inside. Nothing ever is good enough, and life isn't NOT designed to be that way.
If you do what is super hard, your life actually becomes EASY.. but everyone seems to be taking the easy route, and just going around in circles.
I can tell you once you figure out and do this inner work you will unlock...
...A bigger version of yourself that you don't want to "believe" at first.
...A version of yourself that doesn't care about what others think or them showing up fully.
...A version of yourself that chooses consciously not to doubt her own greatness.
...A version of yourself that refuses settle.
...A version of yourself that is FREE from fence in limitations and mediocrity
...A version of yourself that wakes up each day excited to LIVE
...A version of yourself that is SO healthy from the inside out
...You can never ever place a value on that!
Listen, I've always been a believer, but I didn't always believe in myself and in turn, that attack, self hatred, judgement, criticism, insecurity, negative self talk and years of being at WAR with myself rubbed off.
It caused me to settle.
It caused my relationships to suffer.
It caused my mental health to suffer.
It caused me to attract people in my life that weren't my people.
But here's the thing. I'm SO thankful for it all.
Because it's MADE me who I am today. Strong. Courageous. Full of Love, Energy, Joy, Health, Abundance, Creativity, Excitement, Purpose, and Passion.
So, do me a favour tonight.
Just listen to this meditation, and maybe ask yourself the tough questions, so that you too are waking up feeling FULLY ALIVE, healthy and whole.
Trust me, this work is so worth the effort.
Have the most beautiful night.
PS. Stay tuned for TOMORROW! I've got an amazing gift to share with the world for my birthday, that you are going to LOVE! I've been working super hard on this!
Don't hate friend. Meditate. There's greatness inside of you, and you serve absolutely NO ONE playing small. You must trust me on this.. It only took be about 39 freaking years to FINALLY figure it all out!
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Find Your Joy Again!
If you spend time on social media, you may have found yourself comparing your own life to your friends, family, total strangers, and celebrities.
You might find yourself feeling less than, struggling with feelings of unworthiness and your confidence, and health can be in the gutter.
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