Personal Power

marriage mental health self love Aug 08, 2019

Yesterday I told him to fuck off. I also lost my patience and got annoyed with the kids. They were whining and bugging each other all day.

He came into our room all chipper, and I honestly just needed space. I needed 13 seconds alone. I attacked. 🦈 We didn’t kiss goodnight.

As I went to bed, I felt guilt, and shame. Why? Because when you don’t feel joy within it’s because you personally have reacted with a LACK of LOVE 💔towards another person.

The decision to react in this way is always YOURS. I lost self control, and I don’t want to be that person that treats her loved ones like shit, then puts on a happy face for strangers.

I could have blamed it on the fact that it’s PMS week. I’ve been tracking and monitoring my cycle for a while now and right around this time of the month I’m basically a raging psychopath. 🤯🤬I’m pretty sure it’s hormonal and I’m fairly certain I have awful PMS or worse..PMDD.

I’m charting it. I’m monitoring it. I’m AWARE of it. I’m also taking FULL OWNERSHIP and responsibility over it.

* Mood swings.
* Depression or feelings of hopelessness.
* Intense anger and conflict with other people.
* Tension, anxiety, and irritability.
* Decreased interest in usual activities.
* Difficulty concentrating.
* Fatigue.
* Change in appetite.

I’m doing the WORK. I’m watching my nutrition. I’m working out. I’m supplementing. I’m getting sleep. I’m drinking my water. I’m meditating.

I’m not leaving MY HEALTH to randomness. I’m owning it, and not just popping pills for a quick fix.

Here’s the deal. I could have started today off pissy. I could have beat myself up over it. I could have blamed and mad excuses for my hormones, my anxiety, but I’m not.

I’m choosing not to be a victim, but to be a warrior. To be proactive. To be IN charge of the direction I’m headed. There such power in SELF reliance. Personal power 💪

I woke up at 4:11 and spent some deep time in meditation, mindfulness, prayer and journaled. I planned out my day.

At 5:20 we had a date. I saw him and immediately apologized for my actions and behaviours as they weren’t in alignment with my highest self.

We sweat. We laughed. We melted off a layer of “fat”, as for the promise of this new program we are trying and we started our day off the RIGHT WAY.

Beginning again. Leaving yesterday behind. Moving forward with love, joy, hope and strength.

The point??? FULL ownership and responsibility of ones self. That’s why we do this. To make our life, our future better.

Will you be showing up for yourself today? I hope so for showing up for yourself isn’t half the battle... it’s the ENTIRE battle.

You won’t ever regret putting in the work to make your life and health better.

This I know is true!

Find Your Joy Again!

If you spend time on social media, you may have found yourself comparing your own life to your friends, family, total strangers, and celebrities. 

You might find yourself feeling less than, struggling with feelings of unworthiness and your confidence, and health can be in the gutter.  

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