10 Years.. of INNER PEACE

lifeafterdivorce mental health motivation single parenting Jan 31, 2019

Early morning yoga and meditation for me. My morning routine I started years ago changed my life. I thought back today.... My past being full of beautiful life lessons 💗

The HURT and dis-ease continues to thrive and survive because someone is unwilling to end the altercation. That person may be you. Maybe not, but YOU are the one you need to be concerned about.

I’m coming up on the 10 year anniversary of the day I found myself in my doctors office leaving with a bottle of antidepressants and sleeping pills.

Coming to grips of being a single mom with a 4 month old was a lot. Stress, and situational depression set in, and I found myself struggling. Finances were in the negative and I was down at below ground zero.

Deep down I 🙏knew🙏 I’d be okay, but that took many years to get back on my feet. Many HARD years. Many dark days.

I was resentful. I was mad. I was pissed. I remember punching a hole in the wall. I yelled and screamed a lot. I cried a lot. I was cynical. I was bitter. I was hurt. I was unhealthy.

Above all else. I was so unbelievably unhealthy from the inside out. I chose to leave my marriage knowing deep down it was the right thing to do.

I left that marriage, not fighting for half of everything. Not taking half the house. Not going through the system. Not fighting at all. I simply left it all walking away from everything I worked my ass off for, bar a few of my favourite things which I eventually gave away when I started over.

After we moved on. At first it was hard when I saw another women with her hair wrapped in the pink towels I bought. Sleeping in my bed, under the covers that I bought and paid for. Eating off the plates I picked out.

Stuff. No real meaning. Stuff.

I knew I had to come to a place of inner peace. Of acceptance for all the hurt was causing such turmoil. Such bitterness. Such ugliness in my life. Such stress and it was only affecting my ability to mother my child and give him the best of me.

Before my ex died, we had come to an amazing place of co-parenting. One that I’m so proud of. A great guy. An amazing dad. We did good. I still call him one of my best friend, as he was... and always will be. I miss him terribly, but know he's always around.

Looking back on all that silly drama, stress, and nonsense for what?? For it actually to NOT to matter in the end.

The stress. The hurt. The stuff. I had let go. I had to move forward. I had to be FREE so that I could live and LOVE again.

My mentor once said: Chances are if your past is STILL hurting you, it’s because someone is unwilling to end the altercation with an authentic act of kindness, or forgiveness.

Someone MUST risk retuning injury with kindness, or hostility will NEVER turn to good will.

Looking back I can honestly say, I’ve never regretted my decision to let my past go. To move forward. To forgive. To live. To be free. To be authentically happy and at peace with it all.

Do you have someone or something you need to let go of? Could you END the suffering right NOW simply with an offering of love and kindness?

If so.... My best advice would be do just that, and good will will find you. Peace will find you. Happiness will find you. Love will find you. Health will find you. 🙏💗

Speaking from my own personal experience only. No guarantees, as YOUR success comes down to whether or not you're willing to show up and WORK HARD for the kind of life you know deep down you're worthy of having.



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